There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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