He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
