god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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