You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
