I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
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i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
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He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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