You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
