using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
