It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
