my mouth tastes like poor choices
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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