We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
