And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
