Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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