The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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