nut hugger
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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