Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
