Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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