see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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