Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
