We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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