so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So squirting runs in the family.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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