But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
someone threw a dead crab at me
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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