so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
