is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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