How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
