Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
