Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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