i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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