I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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