Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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