was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I FOUND THE LEGS
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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