Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
