I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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