i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
