Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
