I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
