pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i think i just lost a toe
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
