): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
