i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
