and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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