The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize