Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
