My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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