and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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