I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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