you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
