never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
