Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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