She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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