She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
