I will die if light touches me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
