If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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