She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
