Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I am naked and annoyed.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
