One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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