Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
