So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My room smells like vodka and shame
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
