More tranny stories later!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
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I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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