Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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