Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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