Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
