it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
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I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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